(This is one of many posts inspired by Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In. I suggest you just give up and buy the book now.) In Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg talks about some of the differences in the way men and women approach to their careers. She cites a 2011 McKinsey report called “Unlocking the Full Potential of Women in the US Economy,” written by Joanna Barsh and Lareina Yee. They report that the addition of women in the workforce since 1970 adds up to productivity equal to about a quarter of the U.S. GDP. Yet the numbers of women in the highest positions in corporations has flattened out, despite the best efforts of companies to seek out and promote talented women. The McKinsey report authors reviewed over 100 existing research papers, surveyed 2,500 men and women and interviewed 30 chief diversity officers and experts to understand the factors that hold women back. They wanted to understand: “What compels bright, highly-motivated women at middle management levels—and higher—to turn down opportunities for advancement, look for jobs outside the company, or leave Corporate America altogether?” The report offers some fascinating insight as to how women and men view their jobs. Women leave positions for the same reasons men do: for bigger challenges, more money and more recognition. But they stay in jobs sometimes for a very different reason, according to McKinsey. Women tend to stay in jobs that make them feel like they ma=” king a difference and where they enjoy their colleagues more often than men. Women seem to pass on promotion opportunities, according to the researchers, “Women don’t want to trade that joy for what they fear will be energy-draining meetings and corporate politics at the next management echelon.” In Sheryl Sandberg’s terms, women don’t lean in. A 2012 McKinsey study of 4,000 men and women from leading companies found that men wanted the top spot in their company at twice the rate women did (36 percent of men, compared to 18 percent of women, said that being CEO was a goal.) Some of this is attributable to what is often called the “Imposter Syndrome,” which seems to affect many more women than men. Men tend to internalize their accomplishments more often, that is to say that they attribute success to their own talent and skills. Women tend to externalize their success; they attribute accomplishment more often to luck, hard work, or help from their team or other supportive people. I recently wrote a story about a woman who started a non-profit and has achieved some recognition in my local market. When I sent the story to her to fact check, she made one edit to a fact, but three edits for style. Each style edit changed the credit for success from “her” to “her team.” It sounds strange some 45 years after women became a significant presence in the workforce, but women often rate themselves and their performance worse than they actually are. On the other hand, men consistently rate themselves as better than they actually are. Sandberg writes that a study of one thousand potential candidates for elected office found that men were 60 percent more likely to rate themselves as “highly qualified” to run for office, despite having no more credentials or experience than the women studied. Joe Kremer, a Dell executive, once spoke about a job he posted that listed six key hiring criteria. Male candidates who could meet two or three criteria lobbied him for the job, each telling him that they could figure out the rest. Kremer is quoted as saying, “The person who should have got the job was female but she didn’t apply. I approached her and she said, ‘but of the six things I need, I only have five of them nailed’.” It was Kremer who insisted that she apply, and she got the job. I can hear the groans from my male readers. Really? What’s wrong with you? One explanation is that modesty is what we deem to be attractive in women. We value modesty in men as well, but the alpha male is never expected to be modest, nor penalized for his overt confidence. Not true of women – even the alpha females. We are expected to play down our achievements, to credit our team for our success. It’s very scary to stand up and take full credit for what you’ve done; men will consider you uppity and women will disapprove. No one wants to become a lightning rod. Somehow, we’ll have to get over that.